Would someone give me recommendations for basic feminist literature? Perhaps there is a little starting-out reading list for the woefully uninformed? I may ideologically perceive myself to be "feminist," but I know little to nothing about the history of women's liberation, and would like to be able to distinguish between the different so-called waves of feminism, such that I would not embarrass myself in referencing them. Any particular articles, treatises, literature for someone beginning to explore the topic? Web links would be extremely useful, since I would rather not go out and buy books, but will, if necessary.
I have been looking back at my old writing from college. One of my particular sources of amusement is the essay I wrote in Texts & Contexts, about the book that I only half read, although it appears from the essay that I have a great knowledge about the subject. I half miss the fine art of bullshitting that hearkens back to my high school days, but in recognizing such pride I am reminded that I am rarely, if ever, proud of the papers I write, not because I received a poor grade (they were primarily As), but because I discovered little in writing them. I'm not certain what my objective has been in writing academically except to obtain a good grade. In fact, in looking over these papers I barely remember writing them. It is thus obvious that they were of little significance to me. I am only now realizing the irony of my conduct. I profess that my goal in life is to learn and discover, yet my writing is evidence completely to the contrary; indeed, it is mediocre, a mere re-affirmation of the status quo, deserving (but also simultaneously formulating) the class A. It is clear evidence of apathy rather than interest in the subject matter.
I am beginning to rewrite (pardon the pun) my objective for being in, and participating in, school. It is rather embarrassing that it has taken me this long to figure out that the work done is more important than the grade, but I was (unconsciously; constantly in denial about it) an inflexible, conformist person for a very long time. As I have said, my grades last fall were mediocre at best, and I have absolutely no expectations for the spring grades. That is actually reflective of the effort I have put in and I believe I should recognize that as appropriate. But it is hard reorganizing my life in such a fundamentally different way. I was not genuinely aware that I construed academic success as superficial academic success. But I did, and I probably always will to some extent, evaluate my success on this level, because it is easier to do, and tradition is difficult, though never impossible, to break.
I think, though, that all this is partially an exaggeration. I did not hate writing. Contained in it will always be some degree of my passion. I chose my classes, I enjoyed taking them, and embodied in essays and discussions will always be something that is intrinsically my; my observations are not dispassionate, but they are often forced at the very end--whether through procrastination, frustration, or the futility of not having enough time or means to produce anything more stimulating. So I do not deride my work entirely but do admit it could be better, and mean more, if I had put my whole heart in it.
What makes me sad is that if I don't get the requisite GPA for law journal, I will not be able to get in next year, and I will not have the opportunity to redeem myself the way I want to--to apply this tardy epiphany to the future writing opportunity law journal would have given me. I want that chance, because I believe that writing for a journal means something to me. And for my upcoming failure, and for whatever string of failures I shall present myself with in the future, I am truly sorry.